What to do with an abundance of tomatoes and basil

August 31, 2011 at 11:28 am (Recipes)

If there’s one thing that we can grow in our garden, it’s tomatoes and basil.  Thanks to earwigs and gophers and such, our eggplants and okra and beets haven’t done too well, but in the two years of having a garden, it has literally overflowed with tomatoes (next year we’re planning on caging them to keep them out of the walkways).  And, thanks to a $3 pot of basil starts from Trader Joe’s, we also have an overabundance of basil.  So, to try to make a small dent in all of it, I came up with this dish last year and finally christened it “Bruschetta Pasta”.   Though there’s a lot of chopping involved, it comes together pretty fast and is so yummy and fresh.  Such a summer food!

Bruschetta Pasta

Cook a pound of pasta; drain and set aside.  While pasta is cooking, roughly chop one to two small heads of garlic.  Place in a three-quart saucepan and add several big glugs of olive oil, enough to completely cover the bottom of the pan and then some (yes, I know you’re technically not supposed to heat/cook with olive oil much, but you really need the flavour in this dish and it doesn’t actually cook that long).  Start cooking on medium heat.  While garlic is cooking, chop lots of tomatoes (I usually just halve our Sungolds and quarter the cherries, and cut the Romas and other larger tomatoes into bite-size chunks), making sure to try and keep most of the juice with the tomatoes, as it’s an integral part of the sauce.  Chiffonade lots of basil by stacking the leaves, rolling them into a cigar and slicing that as thinly as you can.  As garlic cooks, stir occasionally to keep it from sticking the bottom of the pan.  Once it just starts to brown, add all the basil…and stand back, since it sputters a lot, especially if the basil was wet.  Once the sputtering has calmed down, stir a couple times and let cook for a minute or so.  Remove from heat and immediately add your chopped tomatoes and stir well for the oil and tomato juice to emulsify.  Add a tiny bit of balsamic vinegar; salt and pepper generously.  Return to low heat and add chopped grilled chicken.  Cook for several minutes, stirring occasionally, until chicken is heated through.  Pour over cooked pasta and add some grated Asiago cheese.  Mix well and enjoy!

2 Comments

Efficiency and mothering

August 30, 2011 at 12:29 pm (Lessons, Mothering)

I love efficiency…always have.  Doing something quickly and effectively gives me a thrill (yes, that’s weird) and is so satisfying.  It also helps that Aaron really likes efficiency too and so I know that he appreciates it when I do things that way.  And in general, it’s a good thing.  But in the last weeks, I’ve been realizing that sometimes it isn’t, especially when it conflicts with my loving and mothering.

Here is a common scenario at our house: I’m making dinner and the kids are “playing together” on the floor (Genoa sits in her bouncy seat and Cedar brings her toys, shakes her rattle for her and tries to cuddle with her…it’s really cute!).  Something is sizzling in the skillet and I’m chopping up stuff for a salad (our living room, kitchen and dining room are all in one great room) .  Cedar gets a little too rough and starts throwing his toys, something he’s not allowed to do.  I reprimand him from my spot at the island because I don’t want to leave my efficient dinner preparations.  He does it again, and this time I leave the kitchen and respond more sharply because I’m frustrated that he’s interrupted my efficiency.  He responds to my frustration by whining and throwing himself on the floor, or maybe even throwing more toys.  And things just go downhill from there.  Yes, I have a very strong-willed toddler and we both have Irish tempers…great combination!

But I’ve discovered something in the last several weeks.  Now, when Cedar disobeys, I try to push aside all thoughts of efficiency and “getting things done”.  I try to take the time to go over to where he is at and kneel down to his level.   I try to make him look at me and I talk to him in a calm voice and remind him again that he shouldn’t be throwing his toys.  If he then disobeys again (which ends up happening much less than when I would brusquely reprimand him before), he’ll be punished, but neither of us get so frustrated.  Yes, it may take longer to deal with, and my efficiency is sometimes out the window, but in the long run, does it really matter if dinner a few minutes later than I said it would be?  No, not compared to building my relationship with my baby-quickly-turning-little-boy.

So yeah, that’s what I’m working on right now.  And believe me, some days go much better than other (the key word in the previous paragraph was “try”).  But if there’s one thing that I’ve learned in this whole parenting journey is that there’s always more grace.  Grace for me to give my little guy, and grace for myself.  Always more.

 

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Gifts in a little boy and his stuffed animals

August 29, 2011 at 8:00 am (Gifts)

1146. Dancing with Aaron around the living room to samba music (and no, we don’t know how to samba…yet).

1147. An hour-long trampoline date.

1148. Cleaning and getting caught up on laundry after being sick.

1149. How mopping with essential oils acts like a diffuser.

1150. Getting to see some friends for lunch.

1151. A pasta salad that I threw together turning out so well.

1152. Relaxing (while the kids napped) in a clean house full of clean laundry.

1153. Aaron and I taking Cedar for a quick canoe ride.

1154. Cedar’s utter enjoyment of playing in the shallows of the lake.

1155. Sunset clouds all around.

1156. Aaron holding me on the couch before he left for work.

1157. How it seems like everything will be okay, as long as you’re in your love’s arms.

1158. Genoa sucking her thumb, putting herself to sleep while I got Cedar ready for his nap.

1159. Cedar asking for a piece of grilled chicken I was cutting and then proceeding to “feed” it to his stuffed dog.

1160. Reading books with my little guy.

1161. Cedar giving his stuffed bear piggy back rides.

1162. Being encouraged by Scripture.

1163. Aaron liking a meal that I threw together out of an almost empty refrigerator.

1164. Wiping down the refrigerator.

1165. Cedar wearing his stuffed dog in a “wrap” (his blanket).

1166. Eighteen purple roses from my love…and garlic (he knows me well!).

1167. My “new” rocking chair (found on Craigslist).

1168. Some fun food from Trader Joe’s.

1169. Replenishing the refrigerator.

1170. How much Genoa likes being rocked to sleep.

1171. The bright yellow of pastured organic butter.

1172. How it seems like everything is better when Aaron gets home.

1173. Friends who are also young parents…and how we all understand if we’re all so tired if we don’t “do anything” when they come to visit.

1174. Creamy French toast casserole.

1175. Mocha cheesecake bars.

1176. Sweeping in the quiet evening.

1177. My rocking chair nook.

1178. How effective my Nosefrida “snotsucker” is.

1179. Seeing pictures of a friend’s wedding…so happy for her, but wishing I could have been there!

1180. My wonderfully sweet husband who takes such good care of me when I’m very tired and still getting over being sick.

 

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From my cookbook shelf – Part One

August 25, 2011 at 11:21 am (Books, Homemaking, Recipes)
Tags:

(These aren't even all of them...just the pretty ones!)

I’ve always loved cookbooks.  From my first one (Sunset Best Kids Cook Book…which I still have and is one of Cedar’s favourite books to look at), a gift from my parents at the tender age of eight, until now with a collection of over twenty, cookbooks have always been something I’ve enjoyed.  Maybe it’s the combination of food and books, but they’ve often been something I could just sit and read for a long time.

Because yes, I read cookbooks.  As many of you probably guessed from the “recipes” I post on here, I rarely ever actually cook from a written-out recipe.  I get an idea and start throwing in whatever sounds good and it usually turns out pretty yummy.  As such, cookbooks serve as inspiration for me, and in reading them I can glean little tidbits of info on processes and ingredients that will hopefully continue to improve my cooking overall.

Recently I went through my cookbook shelf and got rid of the few that I didn’t like anymore, and added a few courtesy of some birthday money (the “Cookbooks” section of my Amazon wishlist always has something in it!).  And in the long process of trying to decide which cookbooks to buy with my birthday money, I thought about cookbooks a lot (ask Aaron how long I obsessed over it…or maybe don’t!).  And after I made my decisions and added them to my shelf, I decided that I should blog about my cookbooks since their shelf is one of my favourite parts of our house (I have many).  So, in this post and several more to come, I’m planning on going through my cookbooks and telling you a little bit about them and what each have contributed/are contributing to how I cook now.

So, without further ado, and in no particular order…my cookbooks!

The Art of Simple Food: Notes, Lessons, and Recipes from a Delicious Revolution – by Alice Waters: If I had to choose just one cookbook to have for the rest of my life (other than my massive black binder full of recipes I’ve collected over the years), this would be it.  Aaron gave it to me for my birthday the first year we were married, but that’s not the only reason I love it.  Compared to many of my other cookbooks, it doesn’t really have a lot of recipes, but it makes up for it in the notes and lessons.  From this book, I learned how to roast a chicken properly.  But it didn’t just show me how to roast it for their particular recipe for roast chicken, it taught me how to roast one in general so then I can take that knowledge and expand on it and come up with all sorts of delicious possibilities.  And all the recipes are like that.  The book is divided into two parts: first are the seventeen chapters of  “Lessons and Foundation Recipes” and then part two contains more recipes that build and expand on the ones from the first part.  Definitely a cookbook I would recommend to anyone, regardless of their cooking expertise and ability.

The Commonsense Kitchen: 500 Recipes + Lessons for a Hand-Crafted Life – by Tom Hudgens: This is one of my recent acquisitions and my current read.  And even though I haven’t even finished it yet, I put it right up there with The Art of Simple Food.  Another of those cookbooks with lessons along with the recipes, in this first reading I’ve already learned many different things that can help my cooking even if I never cook specifically from this book.  I think I’ll be using this book often…several the recipes I read last night made me anxious for things to start to cool down so I can cook and bake more.  Also similar to The Art of Simple Food, this cookbook doesn’t contain any photos, but you don’t find yourself missing them since there’s so much good info in what you read.

Local Flavors: Cooking and Eating from America’s Famers’ Markets – by Deborah Madison: This one was a thank-you gift from one of Aaron’s brothers for helping him with a meal he was catering and I’m so thankful he picked it out for me.  While I haven’t ever actually cooked anything from it, I’m often inspired by the myriad ways she prepares vegetables…and all the different combinations too!   And I’ll admit, sometimes I just page through it to look at the pictures…the photography of the vegetables and the farmers’ markets they came from are just beautiful.  And sprinkled throughout the book are little essays on the different farmers’ markets that she’s visited around the country, very fun to read.

Green and Black’s Chocolate Recipes – by Caroline Jeremy: It’s no secret that Green & Black’s is my absolute favourite brand of chocolate (we even had them for favours at our wedding!).  And so I was very excited when one of my best friends gave me this cookbook for Christmas several years ago.  I haven’t actually made anything in it yet (mostly because any Green & Black’s chocolate I have gets eaten quickly and not cooked with!), but all the different ways they use chocolate is delicious to see.  And throughout the book is information on how cacao is grown and Green & Black’s chocolate is made (it’s fair-trade).  A book that will definitely make you drool and then go and eat a handful of chocolate chips!

More to come…

4 Comments

Carmelized onions make anything better

August 24, 2011 at 1:07 pm (Recipes)

Yesterday we had some friends passing through the area and they were going to stop by for lunch.  I wanted to make a pasta salad, but my options were somewhat limited since Aaron doesn’t really like creamy-type pasta salads (I’m working on him though!) and we had just finished off some quinoa salad (made just like my orzo salad, but substituting quinoa for the orzo) so that meant that an oil-and-vinegar dressed salad was out too.  So, I ended up throwing together what I had that sounded good and…it turned out yummy!

Carmelized Onion and Sun-Dried Tomato Pasta Salad

Cook a pound of pasta until done; drain, and pour into a large bowl.  Roughly slice several purple onions and several yellow onions and place in a skillet with about two-thirds of a stick of butter.  Cook on low heat, stirring occasionally, until onions are very browned (about 20 minutes?).  Salt generously, remove from pan and pour over pasta. Without cleaning, return skillet to stove and add the remaining third of a stick of butter.  When butter is melted add a small head of garlic, several grilled chicken breasts, and a good amount of oil-packed sun-dried tomatoes, all roughly chopped.  Let cook for several minutes, until garlic is starting to golden and chicken is heated through. Remove from heat and add a little bit of balsamic vinegar.  Stir until it finishes bubbling and then pour into pasta bowl.  To the pasta, add lots of fresh Sungold cherry tomatoes, cut in half, and lots of fresh basil, roughly chopped.  Also add some hard, pungent cheese, roughly grated (I was out so I used some Romano that I got from my mother-in-law, but I would have normally used Asiago or Parmesan).  Toss everything together until well-mixed.  Salt and pepper according to taste.  Serve at room temperature and enjoy!

6 Comments

Gifts in sickness and in health

August 22, 2011 at 10:11 am (Gifts)

1111. A yummy Mexican salad for lunch.

1112. Visiting the local historic village.

1113. Doing two crosswords with Aaron and beating our record anew.

1114. The feature I just discovered on Gmail that keeps all my unread e-mails at the top of the page.

1115. Chatting with a new mommy and passing on what I’ve learned in my brief time as a mama…in the same way that my friends chatted with me when I was a new mommy.

1116. Cedar banging on the keyboard when he’s supposed to be napping and then turning it off as he hears us coming.

1117. Early mornings that are now cool enough to drink tea in.

1118. Sunset walks.

1119. Cedar repeating sentences word-by-word.

1120. Looking forward to a fun weekend of visiting friends and going to a birthday party.

1121. The anticipation of an afternoon spent with a good friend and our combination of four kids under two.

1122. Cedar saying “Go, Dog. Go!” when he picks out that book.

1123. Genoa in her little brown sweater.

1124. Nights where you sleep so well that you wake up in the morning knowing that you nursed your baby, but having no memory of it.

1125. Followed by a night where your restless baby kept you up a lot, but at least you have a baby to be restless.

1126. Mommy talks.

1127. Getting to see a friend’s new baby.

1128. Having Aaron’s parents over for dinner.

1129. My mother-in-law’s mocha panna cotta.

1130. Cedar being so good (mostly) when Aaron and I were both sick with bad colds.

1131. Finally having a successful trip to the potty after Cedar told us he had to go (he has often told us he had to go, but we never made it to the potty in time).

1132. Cedar sitting in a chair, looking at books on the coffee table.

1133. Remembering three years ago when I first got a random message on HomeschoolAlumni.com from this guy I had never heard of before…and now I’m married to him and we have two kids!

1134. An impromptu dance during supper…Aaron with Genoa and Cedar with me.

1135. Kisses shared when we each are holding one of our babies.

1136. Grace and strength to get through a night of being up with Genoa almost every hour.

1137. Learning to trust God’s timing when we had to cancel our plans for our fun weekend with friends because of being sick.

1138. A freezer stocked full of good grassfed beef.

1139. Watching “Rio” with Aaron and Cedar.

1140. Getting through both of us being sick at the same time.

1141. Lemon-honey tea.

1142. Spoonfuls of raw honey to calm my cough.

1143. Sitting on the couch with my love and our babies, relishing feeling human again.

1144. How Genoa tracks me all the time.

1145. Placing a co-op order.

 

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Gifts in life together

August 15, 2011 at 2:38 pm (Gifts)

1076. Picking blackberries with my little family.

1077. Early morning sunlight.

1078. Aaron holding both Cedar and Genoa while they all watch “Bob the Builder” on Aaron’s laptop.

1079. Organizing the freezers (upright and above the refrigerator).

1080. Fresh beans from our garden.

1081. Ordering a teething necklace for Genoa.

1082. How much Cedar’s being-read-to attention span has grown.

1083. Finally finding some flower headbands for Genoa.

1084. Dark chocolate cream cheese brownies.

1085. Talking with Aaron about the different places we would like to move to.

1086. Thinking about how, Lord willing, I get to spend the rest of my life with Aaron and all the amazing adventures we’ll have together.

1087. Seeing the daughter of a friend baptized.

1088. Randomly coming across a very funny blog.

1089. Finding out that a blog post I was unsure about encouraged someone.

1090. A friend’s post relating her struggle with feeling beautiful as a nursing mommy…since I struggle with the exact same thing.

1091. Crispy edges on pancakes.

1092. Giving Cedar piggy-back rides.

1093. Cedar figuring out how to close the buckles on the Ergo.

1094. Finding out that “Tummy Time” maybe isn’t as important as I thought (since both my babies rarely ever officially get it).

1095. Bowls heaped high with watermelon.

1096. Cedar and Genoa in their matching Hawaiian outfits from Grandpa and Grandma Telian.

1097. Grocery shopping with Genoa (while Cedar stayed with Aaron).

1098. Find a shirt for me and an outfit (3T!) for Cedar at Costco.

1099. How much Cedar loves his new coat (also from Costco).

1100. Banana chocolate peanut butter smoothies.

1101. Celebrating my brother-in-law’s graduation.

1102. Talking with other moms in the church nursery.

1103. Conversations with my love about how to best encourage each other and keep each other accountable with different things.

1104. Realizing anew how amazing marriage is, on so many levels.

1105. Lazy Sunday afternoons, spent with my little family.

1106. Bio-Kleen Bac-Out and how well it takes out stains.

1107. Being able to mend my favourite skirt so that the little hole right in the front is hardly visible anymore.

1108. Leftovers of my version of beef stroganoff.

1109. Knowing I’m providing the best possible food for both my babies (through nursing).

1110. How good-looking my husband is.

 

1 Comment

Stewards of our family

August 10, 2011 at 10:07 pm (Lessons, Marriage, Mothering)

I’ve noticed something recently.  The majority of the people (please read: not all) who are against any form of birth control, if you look at their families, their natural fertility spaces the children at least two years apart. There might be an eighteen month gap, but rarely is there anything less than that. But what if your natural fertility means that your kids could very easily end up being less than a year apart? That’s rarely ever addressed. And before anyone says that doesn’t happen…believe me, it does…I’m living proof (as are several of my friends).

Yes, for me, after both pregnancies, my cycle returned at seven weeks postpartum…seven weeks! (After Genoa was born, I had reason to suspect it was even earlier than that, but it was hard to know for sure since I was still bleeding from the birth.) Which means that, if I conceived then, the babies would be less than a year apart. Which means that my body would have less than two months to recover from giving birth before it had to start nurturing another new life. Which means that the first baby would have less than six months to receive any good amount of breastmilk before my supply dropped drastically due to pregnancy. It’s that last one that is the clincher for me.

One of the big points that the no-birth-control crowd tries to make is that children are a blessing. And supposedly, if you use birth control and try to “limit” how many children you have, that means that you don’t think they are a blessing. Now, I wholeheartedly agree that children are a blessing! I absolutely love the two that I have and I so hope that we have many more. But it’s because that I think my children are such blessings that I don’t want to deprive the ones I already have. And no, this isn’t a “kids need x, y and z so therefore I don’t want to have too many kids”.  Babies need at least six months of exclusive breastfeeding (and continuing to nurse a lot after you introduce solids) and if I get pregnant less than two months after their birth and therefore can’t give them that…that is not taking care of my children as I should.

Before I was married, I was very against birth control in any form.  In my legalistic years, I would get into heated debates with my peers about it, none of whom were married and most of whom had never even thought about it before.  As God matured me in that area I began to see that, first of all, it’s an issue that is between the couple and God.  That’s it.  It wasn’t my job to try to convince anyone to not use birth control.  However, it was still something I was pretty sure I would never use.

Enter reality.  Aaron and I talked about the issue several times during our courtship/engagement and we both were fine with and hoping to get pregnant right after getting married.  We did and I loved being pregnant, despite horrible morning sickness for the first several months and exhaustion for even longer.  Cedar was born two days before our nine-month anniversary. After dealing with all the stress of Cedar’s premature delivery and staying in the NICU, I was relieved to think that I would have at least six months before having to deal with my cycle again.  Wrong!  Seven weeks later, it returned and I cried.

I cried because I didn’t want to deal it for awhile, but I also cried because I didn’t know what we would do now.  For many different reasons, Aaron really didn’t want me to get pregnant so soon after having Cedar, and honestly, I wanted more than two non-pregnant months.  After much discussion and prayer, we decided to use a barrier form of birth control until Cedar was at least six months old.  We did, and when he was seven months old, Genoa was conceived.

Cedar had taken to solids very readily and  and so, for the first trimester, we supplemented my starting-to-dwindle milk supply with some solids.  However, by the time I reached the middle of my second trimester, my supply was pretty much gone, though Cedar continued to nurse several times a day for comfort.  Thankfully, by that time he was pretty well established eating real foods and it wasn’t much of an issue (though I was very glad to be able to continue to nurse him after Genoa was born and I had a supply again…but tandem-nursing is a whole other post!).  But I often wonder what we would have done if Cedar hadn’t started so early and easily on solids…I feel very strongly about babies exclusively breastfeeding at least six months (though hopefully longer), but what if you don’t make enough to do that because you’re pregnant again?  Is that really caring for your child the best that you can?

Granted, I completely believe that the Lord is the One Who is ultimately in charge of opening and closing the womb.  If He wants you to conceive, you will, no matter how many things you do to try and prevent it.  But both Aaron and I believe that we’re to be stewards of our family and of our fertility in the same way that we are to care for other good and perfect gifts that the Father has given us.  For our family this has meant doing what we can to try and not get pregnant until we think our baby would be able to handle the decrease in breastmilk.  And yes, if we did end up conceiving before then, we would rejoice and trust that the Lord cares for all our babies more than we ever could.  But we believe that we need to do our part too and be good stewards of our precious family.

As I mentioned earlier, with this whole issue, one thing that I’ve been convicted of is that, either way this is something that is just between the couple and God.  Other than the fact that children are a blessing, I don’t believe that the Bible states whether birth control is right or wrong.  Therefore it’s something that we each need to seek the Holy Spirit on and use wisdom as we follow His leading.  I just thought I’d show another perspective on the issue and share where our family has been led.  May we do all things for our Father’s glory.

3 Comments

Coffee and flowers

August 8, 2011 at 12:34 pm (Gifts)

1046. Stargazer lilies and an iced mocha from my love.

1047. A star-gazing trampoline date.

1048. A free-form quiche made with spinach, ham and asiago cheese.

1049. Genoa standing on my lap.

1050. How much Genoa loves watching Cedar.

1051. Joining Pinterest…

1052. …and all the beauty I’m finding…and recipes…and ideas.

1053. Watching Cedar enjoy the finger paint I made for him.

1054. My husband’s yummy banana milkshakes.

1055. How much Aaron loves the food I make.

1056. A supper of quinoa chicken salad and skillet apples.

1057. Fresh tomatoes from our garden.

1058. An impromptu family hike.

1059. How much Cedar loves being read to.

1060. My first big shopping trip with my littles by myself going so well.

1061. Being told that I have my hands full…and knowing that they’re full of very good things.

1062. Writing a blog post about how love changes as your marriage grows and then editing two YLCF posts about the same thing…I think God is trying to teach me something!

1063. A weekend with my sisters and a friend.

1064. After much deliberation and price-comparing, finally ordering a quarter of grass-fed beef from Alderspring Ranch.

1065. Coming away from the library book sale with bags of books.

1066. A birthday dinner for my sister-in-law.

1067. Seeing how excited she was when her boyfriend surprised her by showing up in the middle of the meal.

1068. A late-night walk with “the girls”.

1069. Homemade English muffins for breakfast.

1070. Meeting another tandem-nursing mama at church.

1071. Playing Locale.

1072. How much Cedar loved playing in the lake.

1073. Fresh beets from the garden.

1074. Talking about parenting with Aaron.

1075. An iced hazelnut-cinnamon latte.

 

1 Comment

Seasons of love

August 5, 2011 at 9:50 pm (Books, Lessons, Marriage)

It all started with re-reading old chats and e-mails from Aaron’s and my courtship and engagement.  A couple we know well is in that oftentimes tumultuous season and it made me want to “re-live” our’s.  We had a hard, but beautiful courtship and engagement and so one night, while Aaron was busy with something else, I spent an hour or so just reading the old chats and e-mails that we had exchanged.  It was fun and brought back many lovely memories.

But then, the next day…amongst the into-everything toddler and the fussy baby, and all the housework and the working-hard husband, I started to get discontent.  Why isn’t it like the way it used to be?  Back when we were so completely focused on each other and told each other “I love you” every ten minutes or so (really, if anyone else ever read our old chats…!!).  Now, what little time we have together in the evenings is spent taking care of our little ones, and cleaning up from supper, and catching up on anything that didn’t get done during the day.  It seems that we’re always tired, from a toddler who wakes up very early and a baby is having a hard time with teething.  I started over-thinking it all and wondered, what on earth had happened to our love?

And then, several nights later, we got home late from something, with two littles who should have gone to bed much earlier.  My husband and I worked together as team, getting them ready for bed, and  once they were asleep, we dropped exhausted into our own bed.  As we lay there, too tired to do anything more than hold each other, tears came to my eyes as I realized…this is it.  This is what true love looks like in this season of my life.  What had happened to our love is that it had grown…and changed..and deepened.

In his book Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis puts it so well:

“Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing…It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling.  Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all…And in fact, whatever people say, the state called ‘being in love’ usually does not last.  If the old fairy-tale ending ‘They lived happily ever after’ is taken to mean ‘They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married’, then it says what probably never was nor ever would be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were.  Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years?  What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships?  But, of course, ceasing to be ‘in love’ need not mean ceasing to love.  Love in this second sense — love as distinct from ‘being in love’ — is not merely a feeling.  It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God…’Being in love’ first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise.  It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.” (emphasis mine)

“A deep unity”.  That is what love looks like now.  Unity as we learn how to raise our littles.  Unity as we learn how to juggle priorities in life.  Unity as we keep continuing to learn how to love each other.  This.  This is it.  And this is very good.

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