A pregnant woman’s rant

[I don’t usually like to complain or blow off steam on my blog, as I want everything I write here to be glorifying to Jesus.  As such, this isn’t really a “rant”…just something I don’t really understand!  I’m guessing most pregnant women can relate and if you’re not pregnant, it’ll give you a glimpse into a pregnant woman’s mind…scary thought…]

Imagine for a moment…you walk into a room full of people and all of a sudden an acquaintance rushes up to you, and without asking your permission, starts patting your stomach, or rubbing it, or poking it.  Now, would that bother you at all?  Would you possibly feel like your “personal space” has been a little violated?  And understandably so.  Hugs are fine and usually welcome, a pat on the back is nice, but patting your stomach…common courtesy usually rules that out.

So my question is: why do such common courtesies seem to fly out the window when a woman is pregnant?  If it’s not acceptable to rub a random woman’s belly at any other time, why does pregnancy all of a sudden make it okay?  It’s as if the thinking goes, “Hmmm…her belly is sticking out a lot more than it used to…that must mean she wants people to touch it!”.  Ummm…not exactly.

Despite the fact that my belly now houses a little baby doesn’t mean that it’s up for grabs (pun intended) for anyone.  Other than my husband (who touches my belly whether I’m pregnant or not), the only extra person allowed to touch my belly without first asking my permission is my midwife.  Period.  Maybe my feelings on this will change when I’m pregnant for the tenth time, but for now, I just don’t get it.

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16 thoughts on “A pregnant woman’s rant

  1. I have observed this phenomenon in American culture. All I have to say about it is…if I am ever pregnant, and someone tries that on me, they will get a swift hand slap and nasty look.

    The kind of behavior you’re describing is definitely Not Okay.

    1. I obviously agree with you (that such behaviour is Not Okay), April, but honestly I find it hard to say anything to people about it (or slap their hands :)) since they usually aren’t thinking and are just excited for you that you’re pregnant…does that make sense? So I’m torn about what to do…so I just blog about it. 🙂

  2. I’ve never been there, obviously, but it has been something I have thought about. Even with really good friends (thinking of one in particular here :), I have been hesitant to do so, because I really don’t want to make them feel uncomfortable!
    So good point to be made!

  3. It strikes me as odd when people do it, but it doesn’t bother me much EXCEPT when men do it! Hello! Get your hands off my body! Go rub your wife’s belly! What is one supposed to say in that situation? :-/

    1. Wow, really?! I have to say that up to this point, I’ve never had a man do it to me…that would be SO uncomfortable! I do remember one of my friends telling me how that happened to her and her husband was there and he got kind of upset and said as much to the man. 🙂 But I know what you mean about not knowing what to say…I know that people aren’t really trying to make me uncomfortable and they’re just excited for me, so I have a hard time bursting their bubble with even just a nice comment along the lines of “Can you please stop touching my belly?”… 😛

  4. Yes, I agree! And even if someone says excitedly, “Oooh, can I touch your belly?” it makes you look rude if you turn them down. So I usually said sure but grimaced the whole while!

  5. I agree with you. Your belly is still your belly!! People should treat you with sensitivity regardless of whether you are carrying a baby or not. And obviously people don’t touch your belly when you’re not pregnant…. 😉
    I do say goodbye to my friend’s baby when we’re saying our goodbyes though. I’m getting excited about meeting him/her. Only a few months left!

  6. LOL….good rant. 😉 It is rather ridiculous that just because your belly’s protruding out, people think it’s public property. With Vivi, I found that it didn’t bother me as much as I expected it to- BUT, the only people who did were close friends who, amidst comments of “how adorable” and so on asked if they could please touch….which is quite different from, say, random people in walmart or something. Strangers- keep your hands off of me! And ugh, I can’t imagine having men touch me!

  7. Definitely NOT something I do unless asked to such as “OH, baby is moving, see if you can feel his foot!” with a sis in law or possibly a close friend. Otherwise, I find this awkward and embarrassing and one of the things I seriously dread. One of my acquaintances said she thinks she’ll make a shirt that says “please don’t touch” or something, but sometimes I don’t know that it’d help anything!

  8. If this is a rant, it’s a good rant. Perhaps falling under the “righteous anger” category. 🙂 And I agree, it IS hard to say “please don’t” or “no,” even when someone is kind enough to ask.

  9. Although I’m not pregnant, nor have I been, I have often thought of this. I’m fairly certain I would not handle people touching me very well at all. Oh well, a bridge I must cross when the time comes.

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