Wouldn’t you know…the Lord decides to convict me of my perfectionism in having to do weekly gift posts and then decides to further the lesson by making the next several weeks’ circumstances such that I don’t get any blogging done, much less recording gifts throughout the week. But you know the exciting part? I must be (slowly) learning, because the fact that I totally abandoned my blog and gift notebook for several weeks isn’t even a big deal anymore. Life happened and I was there in the life I’ve been given instead of frantically trying to keep up with some self-imposed idea that I must record everything here or in my notebook. And despite wanting to try and fill my gift journal and get to two thousand by the end of the year, realizing that probably won’t happen now isn’t a huge deal either, even though I stopped at some random number like 1865 (instead of nice round 1800 or 1900). So yeah, it’s encouraging to see that these lessons that I seem to have to learn over and over and over again are making at least a little bit of headway.
Speaking of lessons, another one that has come up numerous times in the past weeks has been that of trusting the Lord with the future. Along with having company and taking trips and battling nasty colds, during these past weeks, we’ve been seriously considering moving sometime in the near future. But due to certain circumstances, how we think that will happen keeps changing again and again and again. A little bit of an emotional roller coaster, but it’s been very good for me to keep learning to let go of my plans, or rather what I think God’s plans are, and just g0 along with the wild ride. And I also have a tendency to start daydreaming and planning things (in quite a lot of detail!) before they are solidified, and now I’m learning not to let myself do that too much as I get too emotionally involved in something that isn’t even real yet (does that even make sense?!).
I was very encouraged the other day when reading a blog post of another mama of littles. In it, she mentions a quote from my beloved Anne of Ingleside that I had forgotten, but needed to be reminded of. Anne, now the mother of six children, is asked if she has given writing up. And her reply, thinking of her children, is “Not altogether…but I’m writing living epistles now”. I need to be reminded of that often…especially when the daily “writing” of my littles hardly seems to produce more than a couple crooked letters. I need to remember the big picture and that my every-day mothering will have long-term results. And so I’m re-reading Loving the Little Years by Rachel Jankovic…such an encouraging book!
Well, speaking of books, today I received an early Christmas present of an Amazon gift card and so I think I’m going to do some online book browsing now. I’m guessing I’ll find something on my wishlists…