(I started writing this a couple weeks ago and then added some final thoughts today. So the Sunday mentioned was actually several Sundays ago…)
Sunday was one of those beautiful life days.
Nothing spectacular happened, but it was a day filled with many small, simple moments that make me love my life so. We went to church in the morning, where Aaron led worship (he’s not the main worship leader, but filled in at the last minute). Came home and had a quick lunch before putting the kids down for naps. Aaron slept some while I read. The early evening was spent with the kids. And then my sweet husband topped off the day with my Valentine’s present.
Like I mentioned, nothing huge happened. But several times throughout the day, my heart would be filled to bursting at the joy in the little things. Cedar dancing to Josh Garrels. Listening to Aaron and Cedar reading “Where’s Goldbug?” (i.e. Cars and Trucks and Things That Go) while I nursed Genoa down for her nap. How much Cedar and Genoa enjoyed their smoothies at supper.
Sometimes I wonder why I have it so good. Why do I have such an incredible husband when so many of my friends want to be married and aren’t? Why have I been blessed two sweet little ones when so many women lose children or aren’t even able to have them? Why was I born into a country where I have enough food to feed my family, when so many women have to watch their loved ones starve?
I hear about women losing their children or their husbands. Of others enduring great sorrow. And I wonder when it will happen to me. And I find that I can start to live in fear that something will happen. That God will bring me sorrow to make up for the “perfect” life thus far. But then I realize that isn’t God. That isn’t His character. He wants to give good gifts to His children.
“Or what man is there among you who, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!” ~Matthew 7:9-11
We live in a fallen, sinful world. And I don’t know why horrible things happen to so many people. With hard questions like those I just have to trust my Father and know that He is good. And when hard and horrible things come to me, to rest in Him, trusting in that goodness and His grace to uphold me. And when beautiful and good things come to me, to accept them with a heart full of thanksgiving knowing that this too is grace. All is grace. My sweet husband, my precious children, every moment of this life I love. They’re all gifts. And for them I give thanks to my Father.
“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” ~James 1:17