Learning to love

Since before Aaron and I were first married, my mom has often told me that one of the main things she prays for us is that we would learn to love each other.  To be honest, when she first mentioned that, I was confused and a little offended.  What do you mean “learn to love each other”?!  We already love each other more than I ever dreamed it was possible to love someone!  But in the past three years of marriage, I’m beginning to understand more and more what she means.  (I’m not sure why I even doubted the words of a woman happily married for 25 years in the first place, but I was a new bride…what can I say?!)

In the past, I’ve written about the different seasons of love.  And the thing about seasons is…they change.  Constantly.  The love between Aaron and I now looks much different than it did when we first were married, and I’m sure it will look completely different in another three years.  And with the changing of our love comes a constant learning of how to love the other person.  Just as I respond to situations differently in the spring than in the summer, so it is with loving my husband.  The ways I show him love (and the ways that he perceives love — which I’m learning are not always the same) are different now than they were when we were first married.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my maternal grandma.  My grandpa, her husband of over sixty years, died this past Easter morning.  He had battled with cancer for several years, and in the last weeks of his life, things got really hard.  Near the end, both the cancer and his medication started affecting his mind, and sometimes he wasn’t all there.   And yet, my grandma was by his side and loved him all the while.

And I when I think of that, I can’t imagine how I would deal with it.  And then I remember that they had over sixty years of learning to love each other.  Sixty years.  With fifteen kids and going through all the ups and downs of life together, they had learned to love each other in many different seasons and situations and times.

And so, in a way, I wonder if this end season wasn’t that much different than all the rest.  You just hold tight to your love’s hand and know that you’re in this together.

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